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1 | (Week) | 📗 RD1.0 ❖ (Original) Book Inquiries | 🧘♀️ grounding.rd.rocks | ♻️ RD1.0 ❖ Reordered Inquiries (The original questions, skillfully reordered to be kinder and gentler to ourselves.) | 👩👦 RD1.1a ❖ Inner Child Inquiries (Childhood is an important part of who we are. Let's investigate.) | 🏄♀️The Awesome Inquiries... Most recently added here. | 🌈 Rainbow RD's "Inquiry-Lite" (Monthly Inquiries for a Normal Meetings, shared by the Rainbow RD Sangha) | 2024 Inquiry Workbook (In Progress) | |
2 | If you're interested in Inquiry Circles, and you don't know where to start, START HERE: 🎬 inquiriesFAQ.rd.rocks | Inquiry Question Sets: 2.0 Book Inquiries: bookinquiries.rd.rocks 🥇Reordered Inquiries: reordered.rd.rocks 👩👦Inner Child Inquiries: innerchild.rd.rocks 🙌Awesome Inquiries: awesome.rd.rocks | These grounding tips are super take less than 60sec each. And they're backed by data to actually help us get centered. Don't skip these before (and after) you answer the inquiries! | These are 🔥. They're from the book, but just REORDERED to create safety for someone with unresolved trauma or unknown pain to build their practice and develop self-compassion. Without self-compassion, investigation is *legitimately* dangerous for those of us with unresolved trauma. 👇 CURRENTLY RECOMMENDED 👇 | About Inner Child Inquiries set: If you have difficulty with trauma/shame/harsh self-talk, which would activate a severe freeze/flight response, please use these!) These "Inner Child" Inquiries, strive to be the trauma-informed, kinder alternative inquiries. It contains very easy grounding tips . And since we were all once a child, sharing about our childhoods serve as a powerful collective healing experiences when shared. | I really like their approach. They start with the taking refuge in the buddha. Then renunciation. Then craving. | About "Inquiry-Lite" Inquiry Set: The "Inquiry-Lite" questions intentionally don't dig deep—they're for using in a regular non-inquiry meeting once a month. The purpose is to offer people exposure to starting their inquiries. It makes inquiries less scary. | Trauma-Informed. | |
3 | Logistics | Brief Orientation ❖ Logistics, Contacts, Questions • Determine weekly meeting time • Gather emails & phone contacts • Any questions? | Need a more trauma-informed experience? | "Beginning the inquiry process can be daunting. After working with the process for some time with several people, I realized that just as the Dharma is meant to be practiced in a non-linear, holistic way and just as the 4 noble truths are likewise universal and non-linear, the inquiry process might be best approached from a new angle. Starting with Wise Understanding seemed important, followed by moving into some compassionate investigation of negative self-talk, and perhaps dishonesty towards oneself, [as Wise "Self-Speech"]. From there, understanding is built by exploring the cause of suffering (2nd Noble Truth) and then hope is cultivated by discussing the reality of the end of suffering (3rd Noble Truth). | Logistics | Do you need an Ice-Breaker? Here's the perfect kickoff: Four (4) Weeks of Book Reading Meetings (no inquiring): • To get a feel for people in group, do bookreadings. • Start at Sangha: Community (there are no inquiries for it) • Have an open discussion about what people resonated with. • This helps build trust and strengthens the safe container. | These questions were designed to be answered by a group in a normal non-inquiry meeting, once a month. They did a brief 5 minute meditation, then did 10-15 minutes of inquiry on these questions. Notice the questions aren't as deep. In a sense, it is less likely to be trauma-activating. | 📕 STARTING GENTLY. READING FROM SANGHA Are you doing these inquiries with a wise friend, mentor, or inquiry circle? We’re excited for you embarking on this healing process! Here’s what we’d like to recommend to you, to build from a very strong foundation: Read & Discuss. • Schedule book readings and hold light discussions together (same time each week keeps things simple.) • It’s crucial to build a safe container of trust, vulnerability, and healing — especially if you haven’t built that relationship (yet.) • Rather than begin at the beginning, start at Community: Sangha. • The readings are as important as they are insightful, and there are just 5 very quick chapters. After reading each, you may use the following gentle inquiries for discussion prompts (if needed.) Gentle Inquiries of Community: Sangha | |
4 | Meet & Greet | Orientation ❖ Greeting+Getting to Know One Another • Together, read the Summary of RD (Recovery is Possible, v2 pg.53) • So, how'd you get to RD? What do you like most about RD? • Do you have prior experiences with recovery? Therapy? Other programs? | Download these 20 simple grounding exercises for 60 second warm-ups each week: 🧘♀️ (grounding.rd.rocks) | From this place it becomes easier to direct [Wise Effort] into recovery with compassion and understanding, and in doing so cultivate skillful application of meditation through Wise Mindfulness and Concentration. After establishing the practice and putting effort into recovery for some time, one might be ready to explore the harm that has occurred in life with a new perspective. Wise Speech with a broader focus is a starting point for this, followed by the 1st Noble Truth, which can be heavy. The 4th Noble Truth, with its emphasis on taking refuge, seemed a good place to come back to after the 1st Noble Truth inquiry, especially with its encouragement to connect to sangha. Amends is next with Wise Intention, and Wise Action gives us the opportunity to begin applying the 5 precepts in daily life. Finally, after a period of recovery, we can investigate and perhaps recommit to Wise Livelihood." —Kit O. S. (Eugene, Oregon Sangha) Order: Understanding → "Self-Speech" → 2NT → 3NT → Effort, Mindfulness, Concentration → Speech → 1NT → 4NT → Intention → Action, Livelihood | Meet & Greet | Community: Sangha: • In what ways has being part of a recovery sangha provided you with a sense of belonging and support that you might not have found elsewhere? Isolation and Connection • Can you share insights you've learned from sangha members that will help you break free from future isolation? Some say connection is important — but how important is connection to you in your recovery? Reaching Out (Asking for Help) • Can you recall a moment when asking for help brought relief or a sense of unburdening? How does that experience influence your willingness to reach out in the future? Wise Friends & Mentors • In what way has writing & sharing inquiries with wise friends & mentors result in liberation? How has checking in with wise friends & mentors help you navigate challenging times in your recovery? Service & Generosity • How has dāna and being of service to others help you loosen the grip of greed and attachment (which have been major sources of suffering in your life)? | |||
5 | Optional: To build community organically: 4 weeks of reading together, starting from Community: SANGHA | Do you need an Ice-Breaker? Here's the perfect kickoff: Four (4) Weeks of Book Reading Meetings (no inquiring): • To get a feel for people in group, do bookreadings. • Start at Sangha: Community (there are no inquiries for it) • Have an open discussion about what people resonated with. • This helps build trust and strengthens the safe container. | 🧘♀️ grounding.rd.rocks | 👩👦 reordered.rd.rocks | 👩👦 innerchild.rd.rocks | 🏄♀️ awesome.rd.rocks | 🌈 rainbow RD's inquiry-lite | ||
6 | Week 1 Self-Compassion Mantra: "I'm always allowed to be kind and supportive to myself." ❖ "At the time, I did my best. " ❖ "I treat myself with the same compassion & kindness I offer others." | Original.Week1 - 1st Noble Truth (part 1): • Begin by making a list of the behaviors and actions associated with your addiction(s) that you consider harmful. Without exaggerating or minimizing, think about the things you have done that have caused harm to yourself and others. | BEFORE answering questions. do this! ✽ Self-Compassion Mantras Grounding: If you notice your mind is speaking harshly to you or trauma-activated, return to these powerful phrases. Repeat these mantras. a. "I'm always allowed to be kind and supportive to myself." b. "At the time, I did my best. " c. "I treat myself with the same compassion & kindness I offer others." AFTER answering the questions, do this! ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | (First, download the reordered.rd.rocks PDF ) Reordered.Week1 - Wise Understanding (part 1): • Think of a situation in your life that is causing confusion or unease. • What is the truth of this situation? • Are you seeing clearly, or are you getting lost in judgment, taking things personally, in stories you’re telling yourself, or repeating past messages you’ve internalized? How? • Is your vision clouded by greed, hatred, confusion, clinging, attachment, or craving? How? • In what situations and parts of your life do you have the most difficulty separating desire from need? | (First, download the innerchild.rd.rocks PDF) InnerChild.Week1 - 1st NT (part 1) Suffering in this life • If you're ready, think back to your childhood. What harmful behaviors did you witness in your environment? (You can list behaviors by friends, family members, caretakers, community members, or others. Note: The definition of harmful is up to your interpretation. If the behavior caused you to feel bad or uncomfortable, write it down.) | (First, download the awesome.rd.rocks PDF) Awesome.Week1 ❖ Taking Refuge In The BUDDHA ● Do you truly believe in the potential of your own awakening? Why or why not? ● Who or what inspires you on your path to recovery? ● Can you envision your personal path to recovery? To awakening? What does that look like? | RainbowRD.Week1 - The 1st Noble Truth - “There Is Suffering” We all experience suffering. But what have we done about that suffering? Do we feel it? Repress it? Ignore it? Let's investigate. Without focusing on something terribly difficult or traumatic, describe an area in your life or an event where you experienced suffering. • How would you cope with this situation, today? • How did you cope with this before you found recovery? • Do recognize a changing relationship to suffering in general? Is there more acceptance? | Heart Practice: Self-Compassion • How have you shown resilience when faced with challenges in your recovery? (Note: reading this sentence is proof of your resilience.) With a sense of appreciation and self-compassion, what can you say to yourself to fully honor the strength you've shown in your recovery? • If a close friend was going through struggles, perhaps similar to yours, what words of encouragement and support would you say to them? • Now, read those same words of encouragement aloud. However, direct them at yourself. Describe how this practice of self-compassion feels. Share them with your inquiry buddie(s). | |
7 | Week 2 5 Senses: Name 5 things you can see, 4 touch, 3 see, 2 smell, 1 taste. | Original.Week2 ❖ - 1st Noble Truth (part 2): • For each behavior listed, write how you have suffered because of that behavior, and write how others have suffered because of that behavior. List any other costs or negative consequences you can think of, such as finances, health, relationships, sexual relations, or missed opportunities. | ✽ 5 Senses Grounding: Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week2 - Wise Understanding (part 2): • Are there areas or relationships where the drive to get what you desire overshadows any other consideration? Has this changed as you began or continue in recovery? • Are there parts of your life where you are driven to continue unpleasant experiences because you think you “must” or “need to?” • How is karma—the law of cause and effect—showing up right now? Where in your life are you dealing with the effects or aftermath of action you took in the past, both positive and negative? | InnerChild.Week2 - 1st NT (part 2) Connecting the Dots • Starting small, gently, and with self-compassion, make a brief list of your own addictive habits that you consider harmful. For each item, write how you’ve suffered because of those habits. • How have your harmful behaviors been a response to the behaviors you observed or experienced during childhood or adulthood? (Examples: trauma, pain or conditionings.) | Awesome.Week2 - Taking Refuge In The DHARMA ● Does “faith” play a role in your recovery? If so, how? ● Which part of the Four Noble Truths or 8-Fold Path are you taking refuge in right now? ● List any Buddhism-focused books, podcasts or other media that have been essential to your recovery. | RainbowRD.Week2 - Consider the impermanence of all things as a fundamental part of the 1st noble truth: • How did suffering arise in your life as a result of attachment to impermanent things? • How did denial of impermanence manifest in your addictive behavior? | The 1st Noble Truth: Dukkha We experience suffering in this life. Consider this: Our addictive behaviors seem to be the cause of our suffering today. Yet those very same behaviors were "defensive strategies that may once have been necessary." (RD2.0 pg.xx) Remembering this will help us move from feelings of self-blame and self-judgment to the heart practices of self-forgiveness and self-compassion. • Think about what was really tough for you before you started your recovery. What kind of suffering were you going through (for example: problems with family, feeling neglected, or not getting what you needed?) In what ways did your defensive strategy seem to help you in these tough times? If it feels right, try writing a statement of gratitude to your behavior, naming the ways it helped you get through hard times. • When did you notice that the coping behavior was no longer helping and began to add more suffering than it helped? When did you notice the behavior had become a habit? Describe. • How is this habit causing you suffering in your life today? What have you forfeited due to that behavior? (For example: have you sacrificed relationships, financial security, health, opportunities, legal standing, or anything else?) | |
8 | Week 3 Safety Mantra: "I am here. In this moment, I am safe." | Original.Week3 ❖❖ - 1st Noble Truth (part 3): • Do you notice any patterns? What are they? What are the ways that you might avoid or reduce suffering for yourself and others if you change these patterns? • How have your addictive behaviors been a response to trauma and pain? What are some ways you can respond to trauma and pain that nurture healing rather than avoiding? • (2nd Edition) If you have experienced trauma from discrimination, what are ways you can experience healing and practice self-care? Consider opportunities to support social justice while allowing yourself to heal and practice compassion for yourself and others. | ✽ Safety Mantra Grounding: Breathe in deep, breathe out slow. Mantra: "I am here. In this moment, I am safe." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week3 - Wise "Self-Speech": • Have you caused yourself harm with your speech? How? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your self-talk? When does this happen most often, and in what specific ways? • Do you use speech now to hurt yourself or control your behaviours, or to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality? • Do you say things you know are not true about yourself? What are they? | InnerChild.Week3 - 1st NT (part 3) Patterns & Healing • Do you notice any patterns emerging over your life? What are they? • If you changed these patterns, what are some ways that suffering might reduce for yourself and others? | Awesome.Week3 - Taking Refuge In The SANGHA ● How has isolation played a role in your addictions? ● How does a “sense of belonging” play a role in your recovery? ● Are you a part of a sangha outside of this Inquiry Circle? Explain | RainbowRD.Week3 - Think of any role models from your life who seem(ed) free from suffering? What gave you that impression? Did they exemplify something you wanted to emulate? | Trauma and Attachment Injury Note: You know yourself best. For your own safety throughout the inquiries, be mindful and use discernment when writing and sharing about traumas, especially if unresolved. Be aware of arising trauma-activations or dissociation. It's always ok to take a break or skip to the next question. • Without naming specific traumas, how has trauma contributed to your understanding and experience of suffering? • Has it been helpful that Recovery Dharma fully acknowledges that trauma indeed plays an role in addiction? • How does accepting the First Noble Truth empower you in your healing journey from trauma and addiction? | |
9 |  | 📗 og.rd.rocks | 🧘♀️ grounding.rd.rocks | ♻️ reordered.rd.rocks | 👩👦 (innerchild.rd.rocks) | 🏄♀️ awesome.rd.rocks | 🌈 | ||
10 | Week 4 Taking a Break: It's OK to step away for self-care if you need to 'tap the breaks' | Original.Week4 - 2nd Noble Truth (part 1): • List situations, circumstances, and feelings that you may have used harmful behavior to try and avoid. • List the emotions, sensations, and thoughts that come to mind when you abstain. Are there troubling memories, shame, grief, or unmet needs hiding behind the craving? How can you meet these with compassion and patience? | ✽ Taking a Break Grounding: If ever you're feeling emotionally unable to move through the inquiry, remember it's OK to step outside for fresh air. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week4 - 2nd NT | The Cause of Suffering (part 1): • List situations, circumstances, and feelings that you may have used harmful behavior to try and avoid. • List the emotions, sensations, and thoughts that come to mind when you abstain. • Are there troubling memories, shame, grief, or unmet needs hiding behind the craving? How can you meet these with compassion and patience? | InnerChild.Week4 - 2nd NT The Cause of Suffering • List some of the situations, circumstances, and feelings that you may have used harmful behavior to try and avoid. • Are there troubling memories, feelings, shame, grief, or unmet needs, hiding behind the craving or avoidance you've experienced? | Awesome.Week4 - Renunciation ● Name your addictions. How long have you been in active renunciation of each addiction? ● Do you have a “primary addiction”? How do you know? ● Describe the actions of your renunciation, (example: removing alcohol from the kitchen.) | RainbowRD.Week4 - The 2nd Noble Truth - “There Is a Cause of Suffering” Clinging, Aversion, and Confusion lead to suffering. Consider your own experience with these causes of suffering: • Have your addictive behaviors been a response to pain or fear (aversion)? How? • Have your addictive behaviors been a response to fear of loss (attachment) or pursuit of joy (craving)? How? | 2nd Noble Truth: There’s a Cause of Suffering We experience that clinging, aversion, and confusion lead to suffering. • Taking refuge in the Dharma: Which part (or skill) of the Four Noble Truths and Eightfold Path gives you the most comfort and shelter from suffering, lately? • What false beliefs or illusions do you hold about your addiction and its effect on your life? Do you have limiting beliefs about how things should be different than they are? | |
11 | Week 5 Counting: Count by 3's (3, 6, 9... 99) | Original.Week5 ❖ - 2nd Noble Truth (part 2): • What things did you give up in your desire to cling to impermanent and unreliable solutions? For example: did you give up relationships, financial security, health, opportunities, legal standing, or other important things to maintain your addictive behaviors? What made the addiction more important to you than any of these things you gave up? • Are there any beliefs you cling to that fuel craving and aversion, beliefs that deny the truth of impermanence, or beliefs about how things in life “should” be? What are they? • (2nd Edition) If you have experienced discrimination-based trauma or social injustice, how can you meet the experience in a way that honors your true self, without creating more pain and suffering? | ✽ Counting by 3 Grounding: Count forward by 3's (e.g. 3, 6, 9, 12) until reaching 99. Repeat if necessary. ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week5 ❖- 2nd NT | The Cause of Suffering (part 2): • What things did you give up in your desire to cling to impermanent and unreliable solutions? For example: did you give up relationships, financial security, health, opportunities, legal standing, or other important things to maintain your addictive behaviors? What made the addiction more important to you than any of these things you gave up? • Are there any beliefs you cling to that fuel craving and aversion, beliefs that deny the truth of impermanence, or beliefs about how things in life “should” be? What are they?" | InnerChild.Week5 - 2nd NT Clinging, Aversion, Confusion → Suffering • What things did you forfeit while clinging to impermanent solutions? (Examples: relationships, financial security, health opportunities, legal standing, or other important things.) • What beliefs do you have that: (A) fuel craving and avoidance? (B) deny the truth of impermanence? (C) society tells you about how things in life should be? | Awesome.Week5 - Craving ● Take a moment to remember a recent craving. Describe the scene. Where were you? How was your mental state? Did something “cause” you craving? (e.g. lack of sleep, seeing an advertisement) ● As best you can, try to describe the sensations in the body during a craving. Does it have a texture, color, temperature, shape, etc.? ● What’s the first step you can take when you experience craving? Have you done this successfully? | • Have your addictive behaviors been a response to overwhelming circumstances or feelings (confusion)? • Is there an area in your life where you want things to be different than they are? How does this cause suffering? | Wise Self-Talk • Have you caused yourself harm with your speech? How? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your self-talk? If so, when does this happen most often? Give an example. • Does your mind say things that you know are not true about yourself? What are they? | |
12 | Week 6 Sounds of Nature: Youtube Search for "Calming nature sounds." | Original.Week6 - 3rd Noble Truth (part 1): • What makes it so hard to quit? • What resources are available to help you abstain and recover? | ✽ Sound of Nature Grounding: Picture a peaceful scene in your mind — a quiet beach or forest or river brook. So you might search Youtube for "Calming Beach/Forest/River Sounds." Then, if it pleases you, you can leave it on as you write. Notice any effects. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week6 - 3rd NT | The End of Suffering: • What makes it so hard to quit? • What resources are available to help you abstain and recover? • List reasons to believe you can recover. Also list your doubts. What might the wise and compassionate part of you—your Buddha nature—say about these doubts? Practice “letting go” of something small. Notice that the craving doesn’t last and that there’s a little sense of relief when you let it pass. That’s a little taste of freedom. | InnerChild.Week6 - 3rd NT Hope: Suffering can be overcome • If you are ready, think back to your childhood. Do you remember any examples of people in your environment who successfully overcame their hardships? (Examples: stress, trauma, addictions.) • Of the people you've seen in recovery, what have you observed or heard so far that helps you to believe that recovery is also possible for you? • Recovery is diverse—it can range wildly from stopping one aspect of an addiction first, to fully renouncing all harmful behaviors. What resources are available to help decrease your suffering and cultivate recovery? | Awesome.Week6 - 3rd Noble Truth ● What makes it so hard to quit? Why is it difficult to stay sober? ● List reasons to believe you can recover. Also list your doubts. What might the wise and compassionate part of you—your Buddha nature—say about these doubts? ● What does it feel like to “let go” of cravings and desires? | RainbowRD.Week6 - The 3rd Noble Truth - “There is an end to suffering” Less clinging, aversion and confusion leads to less suffering. • Of the people you've seen in recovery, what have you observed or heard so far that helps you to believe that recovery is also possible for you? • Everyone’s recovery is unique and can consist of a wide variety of tools like harm reduction strategies, renouncing multiple harmful behaviors or substances, meetings, group therapy, individual therapy, etc. What resources are available to help decrease your suffering and cultivate recovery? | 3rd Noble Truth: There's a way of Ending Suffering We experience that less clinging, aversion, and confusion leads to less suffering. • Everyone’s recovery is unique and can consist of a wide variety of tools like harm reduction strategies, renouncing multiple harmful behaviors or substances, meetings, group therapy, individual therapy, etc. What resources are available to help decrease your suffering and cultivate recovery? • Of the people you've seen in recovery, what have you observed or heard so far that helps you to believe that recovery is also possible for you? • In what areas of your life have you lessened your suffering? What are you proud of? ● List reasons to believe you can recover. Also list your doubts. What might the wise and compassionate part of you — your Buddha nature — say about these doubts? | |
13 | Week 7 Now Mantra: "I am here. I'm no longer a kid, I'm not in trouble, and I'm not in danger in this moment." | Original.Week7 ❖ - 3rd Noble Truth (part 2): • List reasons to believe you can recover. Also list your doubts. What might the wise and compassionate part of you—your Buddha nature—say about these doubts? • Practice “letting go” of something small. Notice that the craving doesn’t last and that there’s a little sense of relief when you let it pass. That’s a little taste of freedom | ✽ Now Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "I am here. I'm no longer a kid, I'm not in trouble, and I'm not in danger in this moment." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week7 - Wise Effort: • What efforts have you made to connect with a wise friend, mentor, or dharma buddy who can help you develop and balance your efforts? • Think of a situation that is causing you discomfort or unease. What is the nature of the effort you’re bringing to the situation? Pay attention to whether it feels balanced and sustainable, or if you’re leaning too far in the direction of either inactivity or overexertion? • Are you dealing with overwhelming desires, aversions, laziness or discouragement, restlessness and worry, or doubt about your own ability to recover? How do these hindrances affect the choices you’re making? • Are you avoiding feelings by checking out and giving up, or through obsessive busyness and perfectionism? | InnerChild.Week7 - 3rd NT Buddha Nature: Recovery is Real • In the last part, we discussed difficulties we faced in overcoming our addictive or repetitive processes. What would a supportive person say to you about the struggles you have in your recovery? Perhaps imagine what you would say to a friend, or even to a child that is facing the same struggles you're facing. Consider this: The Dharma suggests that everyone is born with Buddha Nature. It's the compassionate and wise seed that you are cultivating in this moment of inquiry. Buddha Nature is the good that existed in you “before the world got to you,” or harmed you. It can be thought of as your enlightened or true self. It's the part of you that found Recovery Dharma, and it continues to blossom with the light of healthy self-care. • To cultivate your Buddha nature, what would the compassionate and wise part of you say about the struggles you have, regarding your recovery? • Practice letting go of a subtle craving. Notice that the craving doesn't last—cravings are always impermanent. Do you feel that little sense of relief from when you let it pass? That's a small piece of freedom. What does it feel like? | Awesome.Week7 - Wise Understanding ● Where does craving get in the way of ethical behavior? ● Are there parts of your life where you are driven to continue unpleasant experiences because you think you “must” or “need to?” (example: social obligations, cultural pressure) ● How have these aspects changed as you began or continue in recovery? | • In what areas of your life have you lessened your suffering? What are you proud of? • What would a supportive person say to you about struggles you have had in your recovery? (Perhaps, imagine what you would say to a friend--or even a child--that is facing the same struggles you're facing.) | The Heart Practices (or Karma Garden) Lovingkindness, Appreciative-Joy, Compassion, Equanimity. Generosity, Forgiveness. | |
14 | Week 8 Scents: If you have anything that smells nice, smell it and describe it. | Original.Week8 - 4th Noble Truth: • Understanding that recovery and the ending of suffering is possible, what is your path to recovery and ending the suffering of addiction? Be honest about the challenges you might face, and the tools and resources you will use to meet those challenges. • What behavior can you change to more fully support your recovery? • What does it mean to you to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha for your recovery? | ✽ Scents Grounding: If you have essential oils (or anything that smells nice to you) describe how it smells. If you have a candle (or incense, and you can light it safely), you might create an environment that is calming. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week8 - Wise Mindfulness • What are steps you can take to support a regular meditation practice? • What are steps you can take to practice mindfulness more throughout the day by checking in with yourself about how you’re feeling, and pausing before reacting to situations? • What are steps you can take to sit with your discomfort instead of running from it or running toward temporary pleasure? • What are steps you can take to question the “truths” that your mind tells you, rather than automatically believing them? Identify specific instances where your mind and perceptions “lied” to you about the truth of a situation, and how being aware of that might have changed your reaction and led to a less harmful outcome. • Think about times when you felt fear, doubt, or hesitation. Now bring an awareness of their temporary nature. How might that awareness have led to an outcome that was less harmful? | InnerChild.Week8 - 4th NT The Eightfold Path leads to the End of Suffering • We know that the end of suffering is possible because there have been moments in our lives, whether in childhood or adulthood, when we weren't suffering. Understanding that suffering is impermanent, what is your path to recovery? Be honest about the challenges you might face. Consider the tools/resources that will help you meet those challenges. 💎💎💎 • What behavior can you change to more fully support your recovery? • What does it mean to you to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha for your recovery? | Awesome.Week8 - Wise Mindfulness ● When can you practice mindfulness throughout the day by checking in with yourself about how you’re feeling, and pausing before reacting? ● What are steps you can take to sit with your discomfort instead of running from it or running toward temporary pleasure? ● Identify specific instances where your mind “lied” to you about the truth of a situation, and how being aware of that might have changed your reaction and led to a less harmful outcome. | RainbowRD.Week8 - The 4th Noble Truth - “There is a path to the end of suffering” We cultivate and experience the lifelong path of awakening. • Understanding that the path (and recovery itself) is a long-term commitment, reflect on challenges you have faced so far and what tools you have used to overcome those challenges. • Have you found new tools as you have walked this path? How have they helped you? • What behavior can you change to more fully support your recovery? • What does it mean to you to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha for your recovery? | 4th Noble Truth - “There is a path to the ending of suffering” We cultivate and experience the lifelong path of awakening. "When we take refuge in the Buddha, we take refuge not in Siddhartha as a person, but in the fact that he was able to find freedom from his suffering and so can we." (RD 2.0 pg. 3) • Understanding that the path (and recovery itself) is a long-term commitment, reflect on any major challenges you've faced so far and what tools you have used to overcome those challenges. • Have you found new tools as you have walked this path? How have they helped you? • What behavior can you change to more fully support your recovery? Maybe: • What does it mean to you to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha for your recovery? | |
15 | Week 9 Determination Mantra: "My past doesn't define me. It is my choices and actions now that define who I am." | Original.Week9 - Wise Understanding: • Think of a situation in your life that is causing confusion or unease. • What is the truth of this situation? • Are you seeing clearly, or are you getting lost in judgment, taking things personally, in stories you’re telling yourself, or repeating past messages you’ve internalized? How? • Is your vision clouded by greed, hatred, confusion, clinging, attachment, or craving? How? • In what situations and parts of your life do you have the most difficulty separating desire from need? Are there areas or relationships where the drive to get what you desire overshadows any other consideration? Has this changed as you began or continue in recovery? • Are there parts of your life where you are driven to continue unpleasant experiences because you think you “must” or “need to?” • How is karma—the law of cause and effect—showing up right now? Where in your life are you dealing with the effects or aftermath of action you took in the past, both positive and negative? | ✽ Determination Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "My past doesn't define me. It is my choices and actions now that define who I am." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week9 - Wise Concentration • How do you get unfocused or distracted in meditation? What distracts you the most? • What are steps you can take to refocus your mind without judging your own practice? • Notice what value or learning you could gain by carefully and kindly noticing where your mind has gone, or what has distracted you. • What are steps you can take to use concentration to see clearly and act wisely? • What are steps you can take to be kind and gentle with yourself through this process? | InnerChild.Week9 - Understanding Cause and effect Consider this: Trauma can be passed from parents to children. This intergenerational trauma can include experiencing spiritual abuse, domestic violence, or systemic racism and marginalization. "Our trauma is not our fault, but healing from it is our responsibility and our right." (RD p13). • How is karma, the law of cause and effect, showing up in your life? For example: Are you dealing with the aftermath of events from the past, including childhood? • Describe a current situation in your life that is causing you unease. Notice if any similar situations in the past have caused you unease. In the situation you described above: Are you seeing clearly? Is your vision clouded by: Hatred, confusion, clinging, attachment, or craving? If so, how? • In the situation you described above: Is there another truth that you haven't considered yet? | Awesome.Week9 - Wise Speech part 1 self ● Have you caused yourself harm with your speech? How? ● Have you been dishonest or harsh in your self talk? When does this happen most often, and in what specific ways? ● Do you use speech now to hurt yourself or control your behaviors, or to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality? ● Do you say things you know are not true about yourself? What are they? | RainbowRD.Week9 - Wise Understanding WIth cause and effect, we practice understanding whether an action leads to suffering or nonsuffering - In what situations or parts of your life do you have the most difficulty separating desire from need? • Are there activities, relationships, or environments where the drive to get what you want overshadows other considerations? • Has this changed since you began or continue in recovery? - Are there parts of your life where you are driven to continue unpleasant experiences because you think you “must/should” or “need to?” Where do those messages come from? - Think of a situation in your life that is currently causing you unease. • Try to observe the feelings you're having as a result of this situation. • Have any similar situations in your past have caused you unease? Are the feelings or thoughts you are having now amplified or distorted because of your past experience? • Are you seeing clearly? Is your understanding clouded by resentment, confusion, attachment, or craving? If so, how? • What tools are available to you to evaluate the truth of this situation? | The Heart Practices (or Karma Garden) Lovingkindness, Appreciative-Joy, Compassion, Equanimity. Generosity, Forgiveness. | |
16 | Week 10 Butterfly Tapping: Make a butterfly on your chest. Alternate tapping on each side. | Original.Week10 - Wise Intention (part 1): • During your periods of addictive behavior, how did you act in ways that were clinging, uncaring, harsh, cruel, or unforgiving? Toward whom (including yourself) were these feelings directed? How might generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness have changed your behavior? • What actions have you taken that have harmed others? • Have you formed an intention to reconcile with both yourself and the person or people you’ve harmed (to make amends)? If so, have you found a wise friend or mentor you can go to for guidance and support in the amends process (which is summarized below)? What support can this person provide as you begin the process of amends? | ✽ Butterfly Tapping Grounding: Make a butterfly with your hands (like the image here.) Rest the butterfly on your chest so that the butterfly's wings touch your collarbones. Now alternate tapping hands on each side (left, right). Pay attention to the "beat" felt in your collarbone. Notice if the somatic rhythm feels calming. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week10 - Wise Speech • Have you caused harm with your speech? How? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? When, and in what specific ways? • Do you use speech now to hurt or control people, to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality, to demand attention, or to relieve the discomfort of silence? Detail specific instances in which you used speech to mislead, misdirect, or distract. • Are you careful to avoid causing harm with your speech? • Do you say things you know are not true, or pretend to know the truth about something when you don’t, to appear more knowledgeable or credible than you are? List some examples. | InnerChild.Week10 - Wise Intention (part 1) The Heart Practices • Can you name the 4 heart practices by heart? And the 2 choices? (Hint: Lace Gf) • Have you seen someone be an example of any of the heart practices? Describe. | Awesome.Week10 - Wise Speech part 2 others ● Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? When, and in what specific ways? ● Do you use speech now to hurt or control people, to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality, to demand attention, or to relieve the discomfort of silence? Detail specific instances in which you used speech to mislead, misdirect, or distract. ● Are you careful to avoid causing harm with your speech? ● Do you say things you know are not true, or pretend to know the truth about something when you don’t, to appear more knowledgeable or credible than you are? List some examples. | RainbowRD.Week10 - Wise Intention We aim for goodwill, avoiding greed, hate and delusion. Wise intention means being mindful of how our actions and words impact ourselves and those around us. It is the opposite of being uncaring, unintentional, dismissive, or cruel. • When have you acted without wise intention toward others? When have others acted without wise intention toward you? • Do you have relationships that feel imbalanced because of uncaring or unintentional behavior? What do you think you can do to restore balance in those relationships? • Are your thoughts about yourself mindful, intentional, and non-harmful? How can you use wise intention in your relationship with yourself? | Wise Understanding: Impermanence + Karma In Buddhist principles, karma does not depend on the action, but rather the intention behind the action. Every intentional act (whether mental, verbal, physical) contributes to the creation of karma, and will result in either our own healing or our own suffering. This chart may help bring about a better understanding: [KARMA CHART FIGURE HERE] "Karma is determined by our intention and applies to any volitional or purposeful action. The result ...may be an increase in our happiness or may lead to additional suffering." • How is karma, the law of cause and effect, showing up in your life? Are you dealing with the aftermath of events from the past, including childhood? • Going gently, and with a sense of self-compassion, can you give an example of a time you acted on an unwholesome (or harmful) intention? What was the result? Do you understand it? (Please skip this question if it brings up excessive fear or shame.) • Are you perpetuating intergenerational trauma in some way? If so, how can Wise Understanding help you break this cycle? • How does your understanding of karma, with respect to your recovery, influence your actions and decisions? • How can insights from understanding and karma lead to positive change in your approach to your recovery, trauma, and intergenerational trauma? • Describe a current situation in your life that is causing you unease. Notice if any similar situations in the past have caused you unease. • In the situation you described above: Are you seeing clearly? Is your vision clouded by: Hatred, confusion, clinging, attachment, or craving? If so, how? • In the situation you described above: Is there another truth that you haven't considered yet? | |
17 | Week 11 Self-Respect Mantra: "I am here. I respect and value myself." | Original.Week11 ❖ - Wise Intention (part 2) - Intention to Making Amends: ● Have you done something intentionally that you now recognize caused harm to another? Who has been harmed by your actions? ● Have you honestly formed the intention not to repeat harmful actions and to learn from the experience in future interactions? Have you begun the process of directly addressing the harmful actions of your past? ● Making amends depends on the circumstance, including your present relationship to the person and the extent to which you can undo the harm caused through direct actions (like correcting a public dishonesty or compensating another for things you have taken that were not freely offered). Ask yourself, “What can I do in the present?” ● Can you address and reconcile with the harm you have caused without forming an attachment to being forgiven? Identify the motivation for making each amends. ● What actions would restore balance in your own feelings and approach to whatever harm you have caused? Can these steps be taken without causing new harm to the person or the relationship? | ✽ Mantra of Self-Respect Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "I am here. I respect and value myself." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week11 - 1st NT | There is Suffering (part 1): • Begin by making a list of the behaviors and actions associated with your addiction(s) that you consider harmful. Without exaggerating or minimizing, think about the things you have done that have caused harm to yourself and others. • For each behavior listed, write how you have suffered because of that behavior, and write how others have suffered because of that behavior. • List any other costs or negative consequences you can think of, such as finances, health, relationships, sexual relations, or missed opportunities. | InnerChild.Week11 - Intention (part 2) Self-Forgiveness: Restoring Balance with Oneself Gentle guidance: Like in our forgiveness meditation, we begin amends by reconciling with ourselves first. "Amends are about restoring the balance in our relationships, not about asking for forgiveness from others. In a sense, it is an action we take to forgive ourselves." (RD p30) • On self-forgiveness—Let's practice being an observer, without getting lost in narratives, as you answer these inquiries. Staying present, can you describe a situation where you notice you've been hard on yourself? Or where you're having trouble forgiving yourself? Is there any negative self-talk or self-blame or shame? • Think about the ways you've been harmed by your addiction. What were your true intentions? Do you sense any underlying motivations of self-soothing or coping to avoid discomfort? Describe. • Would these situations have turned out differently if you practiced the heart practices then? How? • Moving into the future, how might the heart practices help you restore balance with yourself? • Can you set an intention to not repeat the behaviors that have caused you harm? | Awesome.Week11 - Wise Effort ● What efforts have you made to connect with a wise friend, mentor, or dharma buddy who can help you develop and balance your efforts? ● Are you dealing with overwhelming desires, aversions, laziness or discouragement, restlessness and worry, or doubt about your own ability to recover? How do these hindrances affect the choices you’re making? ● Are you avoiding feelings by checking out and giving up, or through obsessive busyness and perfectionism? | RainbowRD.Week11 - Wise Speech We cultivate loving speech and deep listening. We express what's useful, truthful, kindly, and timely. • Have you been harmful in your self-talk? When does this happen most often, and in what specific ways? • Do you say things you know are not true about yourself? What are they? • Where did you learn these patterns? Whose voice do you hear in your head when you are self critical? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? Were you trying to meet an unmet need? Were you speaking out of fear, pain or confusion? • Have you used speech to mislead, misdirect, distract, or to fill uncomfortable silence? What would it be like to be silent in this circumstance? • Listening is an essential part of wise speech, and helps inform wise understanding. Can you give an example where deep listening has opened your heart to more compassion? | Recovery is not a straight line | |
18 | Week 12 Sight: Focus on an object. Describe it in detail. | Original.Week12 ❖❖ - Wise Intention (part 3) - Investigating an Intention If you’re experiencing a difficult situation or choice in your life right now, investigate the intention you are bringing to this situation. ● Are you being selfish or self-seeking? How? ● Are you being driven by aversion (running away from an unpleasant experience) or craving (grasping for pleasure)? How? ● How could you bring in a spirit of generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, appreciative joy, and forgiveness to this situation? ● How would this situation look different if you brought these factors to mind before reacting or responding? ● If you don’t want to, can you at least have the intention and willingness to do so? | ✽ Sight Grounding: Focus on a particular object in the room and describe it in incredible detail, for example, its shape, color, and texture. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week12 - 1st NT | There is Suffering (part 2): • With gentleness and nonjudgment, review your lists from last week. Do you notice any patterns? What are they? • What are the ways that you might avoid or reduce suffering for yourself and others if you change these patterns? • How have your addictive behaviors been a response to trauma and pain? • What are some ways you can respond to trauma and pain that nurture healing rather than avoiding? | InnerChild.Week12 - Intention (part 3) Forgiveness: Restoring Balance With Another Person Gentle guidance: When we feel it's safe and we are ready, we can consider restoring balance with others. If you do not feel safe, choose someone you find less difficulty with. Your own self-care is crucial. And it's always OK to take care of yourself. • Think about the ways you've harmed others, whether in your addiction or not. What were your intentions? Do you sense any underlying motivations of self-soothing or coping, based on avoiding discomfort? Describe. • Would the situation have turned out differently if you practiced the heart practices, then? How? • How can you restore balance in the relationship where you've caused harm? Can you do it without harming yourself or others? (Note: Restoring balance may not require direct interaction with the other person.) • How might the heart practices help you move forward without an attachment to being forgiven? Can you set an intention to stop repeating these behaviors that have caused suffering? | Awesome.Week12 - Wise Action & the Precepts part 1 ● Have you caused harm? How? (Allow for a broad understanding of harm, including physical, emotional, mental, and karmic harm as well as financial, legal, moral, or other forms of harm.) ● People “take” in many ways: we take goods or material possessions, we take time and energy, we take care and recognition. With this broad understanding of taking, have you taken what has not been freely given? How? What are specific examples or patterns where this has been true for you? | RainbowRD.Week12 - Wise Action We try to act in accordance with the five precepts: reverence for life, mindfulness of boundaries, healthy intimacy, honesty, and mindful consumption • Consider one (or more) of the precepts and reflect on what they mean to you and what your own values are on that subject • Reflect on how your actions (or inactions) during your addiction compared to your values • List ways you might practice the Five Precepts, compassion, lovingkindness, and generosity in your decision-making | Wise Intention: Forgiveness. Restoring Inner Balance. | |
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20 | Week 13 Accept & Persevere Mantra: "I am here. May I accept without struggling, and also without giving up." | Original.Week13 - Wise Speech: [NOTE: This section should really be called Unwise Speech, it asks me all the ways I've been unwise. If you find this approach too harsh, try answering these inquiries first. ) (or Set 2: Unwise Speech) (these are the questions from the book.) • Have you caused harm with your speech? How? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? When, and in what specific ways? • Do you use speech now to hurt or control people, to present a false idea or image of yourself or of reality, to demand attention, or to relieve the discomfort of silence? Detail specific instances in which you used speech to mislead, misdirect, or distract. • Are you careful to avoid causing harm with your speech? • Do you say things you know are not true, or pretend to know the truth about something when you don’t, to appear more knowledgeable or credible than you are? List some examples. | ✽ Accept & Persevere Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "I am here. May I accept without struggling, and also without giving up." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week13 - 4th NT | The Path to the End of Suffering: • Understanding that recovery and the ending of suffering is possible, what is your path to recovery and ending the suffering of addiction? Be honest about the challenges you might face, and the tools and resources you will use to meet those challenges. • What behavior can you change to more fully support your recovery? • What does it mean to you to take refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha for your recovery? | InnerChild.Week13 - Speech Loving Speech & Deep Listening • Have you been harmful in your self-talk? When does this happen most often, and in what specific ways? • Do you say things you know are not true about yourself? What are they? • Where did you learn these patterns? Whose voice do you hear in your head when you are self critical? • Have you been dishonest or harsh in your communication? Were you trying to meet an unmet need? Were you speaking out of fear, pain or confusion? • Have you used speech to mislead, misdirect, distract, or to fill uncomfortable silence? What would it be like to be silent in this circumstance? • Listening is an essential part of wise speech, and helps inform wise understanding. Can you give an example where deep listening has opened your heart to more compassion? | Awesome.Week13 - Wise Action & the Precepts part 2 ● Have you behaved irresponsibly, selfishly, or without full consent and awareness (from yourself or partners) in your sexual conduct? How? ● Have you been dishonest? What patterns did your dishonesty take? Did you act or speak dishonestly to deny or misrepresent the truth about your own behavior or status? ● What substances and behaviors have you become reliant on to change or cloud your awareness? Has this changed over time? Or, if you have periods of abstinence, were your habitual intoxicants or behaviors replaced by other ways to avoid awareness of your present circumstances and conditions? How? | RainbowRD.Week13 - Wise Livelihood We seek to reduce harm and increase compassion in our jobs and community • Do you bring an understanding of karma and kindness to your job, or do you compartmentalize it and exclude it from awareness of wise action? • How can you be of service in your community? • How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it? | ||
21 | Week 14 Touch: Spend 60sec holding a comfortable object. Describe its texture and smell. | Original.Week14 - Wise Action (part 1): • Have you acted in a way that was unskillful or that created suffering? How? • During those times you were unskillful or created suffering, how would it have changed the outcome if you had acted out of compassion, kindness, generosity, and forgiveness? Would you now have a different emotional or mental response to your past actions if you had acted with these principles in mind? First Precept: • Have you caused harm? How? (Allow for a broad understanding of harm, including physical, emotional, mental, and karmic harm as well as financial, legal, moral, [2nd Edition: microaggression, or any of the “isms” and phobias such as racism, sexism, ableism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.] or other forms of harm.) • Even if you can’t point to specific harms that you have caused, have you acted in a way that purposely avoided being aware of the possibility of harm? | ✽ Touch Grounding: Spend a minute holding a comforting object, such as a blanket or pillow. For that time, focus on its texture and smell. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week14 - Wise Intention (part 1): Investigating our Intentions If you’re experiencing a difficult situation or choice in your life right now, investigate the intention you are bringing to this situation. ● Are you being selfish or self-seeking? How? ● Are you being driven by aversion (running away from an unpleasant experience) or craving (grasping for pleasure)? How? ● How could you bring in a spirit of generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, appreciative joy, and forgiveness to this situation? ● How would this situation look different if you brought these factors to mind before reacting or responding? ● If you don’t want to, can you at least have the intention and willingness to do so? | InnerChild.Week14 Action & Precept 1 (Harm) Consider this: The Five Mindfulness Trainings represent a wholesome and concrete expression that results as each of the five precepts are undertaken. Each Mindfulness Training gives us a beautiful vision—a tangible goal to strive for, instead of an intention to NOT do something. So for each precept, we'll introduce the section with the corresponding Mindfulness Training to offer you a glimpse of the fields of positive karma seeds we're planting by undertaking each precept. • Which of the five precepts do you resonate with the most, and why? • Can you recall an example of a time you were about to act unskillfully, but chose not to? How did you feel? 1st Precept: ↩️Harm | 1st Mindfulness Training: “Reverence for Life. Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating the insight of interbeing and compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of all beings.” • We all cause harm—how have you caused harm? (Harm can be physical, emotional, mental, karmic, financial, legal, moral, etc.) • Have you ever chosen inaction in a situation when you could have protected the well-being of yourself or others? And when have you stood up to protect yourself or others? How did you feel? | Awesome.Week14 - 2nd Noble Truth - A Cause of Suffering ● List situations, circumstances, and feelings that you may have used harmful behavior to try and avoid. ● List the emotions, sensations, and thoughts that come to mind when you abstain. Are there troubling memories, shame, grief, or unmet needs hiding behind the craving? How can you meet these with compassion and patience? ● Are there any beliefs you cling to that fuel craving and aversion, beliefs that deny the truth of impermanence, or beliefs about how things in life “should” be? | RainbowRD.Week13 - Wise Effort Wise Effort We devote balanced energy toward recovery and finding our own Middle Way • Are you focusing your attention on a particular area of your life to the exclusion of other areas (work, recovery, family, self care, play, recreation, exercise, to name a few)? • Can you set an intention toward finding more balance? • Outside influences (social, cultural, religious, even recovery) define a lot of “shoulds" that you may have internalized. What does your own middle way look like compared to some of these influences? • What does it feel like to let go of how you “should” be and embrace where you are in the present moment? • Think of a situation that is causing you discomfort or unease right now. What kind of effort are you applying to this situation? Does it feel balanced, or are you leaning too far in the direction of either inactivity or overexertion. • Is there anything you would like to do differently about this situation? | Wise Intention: Forgiveness. Restoring Outer Balance We aim for goodwill, avoiding greed, hate and delusion. Wise intention means being mindful of how our actions and words impact ourselves and those around us. It is the opposite of being uncaring, unintentional, dismissive, or cruel. • When have you acted without wise intention toward others? When have others acted without wise intention toward you? • Do you have relationships that feel imbalanced because of uncaring or unintentional behavior? What do you think you can do to restore balance in those relationships? • Are your thoughts about yourself mindful, intentional, and non-harmful? How can you use wise intention in your relationship with yourself? | |
22 | Week 15 Interconnection Mantra: "I am here. I am interconnected with all things." | Original.Week15 ❖ - Wise Action (part 2): Second Precept: • People “take” in many ways–we take goods or material possessions, we take time and energy, we take care and recognition. With this broad understanding of taking, have you taken what has not been freely given? How? What are specific examples or patterns where this has been true for you? Third Precept: • Have you behaved irresponsibly, selfishly, or without full consent and awareness (from yourself or partners) in your sexual conduct? How? • Reviewing your sexual partners or activities, have you been fully aware in each instance of other existing relationships, prior or current mental or emotional conditions of yourself and your partner(s), and your own intentions in becoming sexually involved? How or how not? • Has your sexual activity, both by yourself and with others, been based on non-harmful intentions? Have you entered into each sexual activity with awareness and understanding? How or how not? | ✽ Interconnection Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "I am here. I am interconnected with all things." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week15 - Wise Intention (part 2): • During your periods of addictive behavior, how did you act in ways that were clinging, uncaring, harsh, cruel, or unforgiving? Toward whom (including yourself) were these feelings directed? • How might generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness have changed your behavior? • What actions have you taken that have harmed others? Consider actions taken outside of your addictive behaviors that have not previously been identified. • Have you formed an intention to reconcile with both yourself and the person or people you’ve harmed (to make amends)? If so, have you found a wise friend or mentor you can go to for guidance and support in the amends process, which is summarized below? What support can this person provide as you begin the process of amends? | InnerChild.Week15 Wise Action: Precepts 2+3 (Theft+Lust) 2nd Precept: ↩️ Theft.| 2nd Mindfulness Training: “True Happiness. Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, I am committed to practicing generosity in my thinking, speaking, and acting.” • We're given many things in life—but sometimes we want (or think we need) more than is given. We might steal goods, possessions, time, energy, or even recognition. With this understanding of stealing, how have you taken what has not been freely given? 3rd Precept: ↩️Lust. | 3rd Mindfulness Training: “True Love. Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and communities.” • The fruits of undertaking the 3rd precept is sometimes said to be true intimacy. How would you define true intimacy? Consider the following while reviewing your sexual activities or partners: • Were you mindful of other existing relationships, families, or commitments? • Were you fully aware of the mental and emotional conditions of those involved (including yours?) • Were you fully aware of your own true intentions when becoming involved? • Were you motivated by craving and self-interest? • Were you motivated by care and commitment? | Awesome.Week15 - Wise Concentration ● How do you get unfocused or distracted in meditation? What distracts you the most? ● What value or learning can you gain by carefully and kindly noticing where your mind has gone, or what has distracted you? ● What are steps you can take to use concentration to see clearly and act wisely? | Self-Amends • Think of an area of your life where you're having a bit of trouble forgiving yourself. What were the circumstances and state of mind that led to the action you regret? | ● Have you done something that you now realize has caused harm to another? Who has been harmed by your actions? ● Have you honestly formed the intention not to repeat harmful actions and to learn from the experience in future interactions? Have you begun the process of directly addressing the harmful actions of your past? ● Making amends depends on the circumstance, including your present relationship to the person and the extent to which you can undo the harm caused through direct actions (like correcting a public dishonesty or compensating another for things you have taken that were not freely offered). Ask yourself, “What can I do in the present?” ● Can you address and reconcile with the harm you have caused without forming an attachment to being forgiven? Identify the motivation for making each amends. ● What actions would restore balance in your own feelings and approach to whatever harm you have caused? Can these steps be taken without causing new harm to the person or the relationship? Consider a situation where your intentions were not to harm, but the impact was hurtful. How can acknowledging this difference help you in taking responsibility for the impact of your actions? In what ways can practicing generosity towards those you've hurt assist in healing both parties? How can you express this generosity without expectations or attachments? How can you show compassion to those you've harmed, even if it means facing uncomfortable truths about yourself and your actions? Reflect on how you can extend metta (lovingkindness) to both yourself and those you have hurt. What does unconditional goodwill look like in this context? Think about forgiving yourself for past actions. How does this forgiveness contribute to your healing process and aid in making amends? What does making amends look like for you? How can you ensure that your process of making amends is about restoring balance rather than seeking forgiveness or relief from guilt? How can acknowledging and taking responsibility for your past actions help you let go of harmful patterns and restore balance in your relationships? How can the practice of equanimity help you maintain a balanced perspective when addressing the pain caused to others, without being overwhelmed by guilt or defensiveness? Moving forward, how can you commit to actions based on non-harming, compassion, and lovingkindness, especially in relationships that have been strained by past actions? ● Can you address and reconcile with the harm you have caused without forming an attachment to being forgiven? Identify the motivation for making each amends. | |
23 | Week 16 Earth Mantra: "I am here. Earth has always been there for me. Earth will always be here for me." | Original.Week16 ❖❖ - Wise Action (part 3): Fourth Precept: • Have you been dishonest? How? • What patterns did your dishonesty take? Did you act or speak dishonestly to deny or misrepresent the truth about your own behavior or status? • Were there particular situations in which your dishonesty was particularly present (for instance: when dealing with your addictive behaviors, in job or professional settings, among friends, with family)? Investigate the source of the dishonesty in each setting–was it based on greed, confusion, fear, denial? Why were you lying? Fifth Precept: • Have you used intoxicants or other behaviors that cloud your ability to see clearly? • What substances and behaviors have you become reliant on to change or cloud your awareness? Has this changed over time, or, if you have periods of abstinence, were your habitual intoxicants or behaviors replaced by other ways to avoid awareness of your present circumstances and conditions? How? • List ways you might practice the Five Precepts, compassion, lovingkindness, and generosity in your decision-making. | ✽ Earth Mantra Grounding: Focus on the feeling of your feet touching the ground. Imagine roots growing from them into the earth. Mantra: "I am here. Earth has always been there for me. Earth will always be here for me." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week16 - Wise Intention (part 3): Intention Toward Making Amends: ● Have you done something intentionally that you now recognize caused harm to another? Who has been harmed by your actions? ● Have you honestly formed the intention not to repeat harmful actions and to learn from the experience in future interactions? Have you begun the process of directly addressing the harmful actions of your past? ● Making amends depends on the circumstance, including your present relationship to the person and the extent to which you can undo the harm caused through direct actions (like correcting a public dishonesty or compensating another for things you have taken that were not freely offered). Ask yourself, “What can I do in the present?” ● Can you address and reconcile with the harm you have caused without forming an attachment to being forgiven? Identify the motivation for making each amends. ● What actions would restore balance in your own feelings and approach to whatever harm you have caused? Can these steps be taken without causing new harm to the person or the relationship? | InnerChild.Week16 - Wise Action: Precepts 4+5 (Lies+Toxicity) 4th Precept: ↩️Lies | 4th Mindfulness Training: “Loving Speech and Deep Listening. Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and by not listening, I am committed to cultivating loving speech and compassionate, active listening.” • (Skip. No inquiries for 4th Precept. We already did the inquiries for Wise Speech.) 5th Precept: ↩️ Toxicity | 5th Mindfulness Training: “Nourishment and Healing. Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption [including unhealthy foods, unhealthy entertainment, and unhealthy conversations], I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful and nourishing consumption.” Consider this: Heedfulness, or awareness of responsibilities, is a mind-state that secures the benefits of our recovery work. Heedfulness armors us from old habits. Without this armor, the benefits of recovery slip away—especially if our minds become consumed by toxic behaviors or toxic substances. Let’s investigate how heedlessness (unawareness) arises from toxicity, and how it endangers our recovery. • What toxic behavior(s) have you suffered from the most, that you’d like to overcome? (Toxic behaviors can include: anger, lust, power, manipulation, self-sabotage, negative self-talk, obsessive worrying, perfectionism, etc.) Has the toxic behavior ever caused you to use substances? • What intoxicating substance have you suffered from the most? Briefly, describe a time that intoxication triggered toxic behaviors. How might heedfulness protect the benefits of your hard-won recovery efforts? • During your periods of abstinence, have you noticed positive changes in your mental or physical health? Please describe these positive changes. | Awesome.Week16 - 1st Noble Truth: There is Suffering ● How have your addictive behaviors (or any other unhealthy behaviors) been a response to trauma and pain? ● What are some ways you can respond to trauma and pain that nurture healing rather than avoiding? | (🚧still under construction🚧) | Motivation for Amends: When considering making amends, how can you ensure that your motivation is rooted in genuine compassion and a desire to restore balance, rather than seeking forgiveness or alleviating personal guilt? Restoring Balance Without New Harm: What steps can you take to restore balance within yourself regarding the harm caused, while ensuring these actions do not inflict further harm on the person or the relationship? How can practicing equanimity help in this process? Compassionate Addressing of Past Harm: How can you approach the person you've harmed with compassion and understanding, acknowledging the impact of your actions without expecting anything in return? Generosity in Making Amends: In what ways can you demonstrate generosity, not just materially, but in terms of understanding and patience, as part of making amends? | |
24 | Week 17 Colors: Name all the colors you can see in your surroundings. | Original.Week17 - Wise Livelihood: • Does your job cause harm? What is the specific nature of that harm? • How can you do your job more mindfully and with an intention of compassion and non-harm? • Do you bring an understanding of karma and kindness to your job, or do you compartmentalize it and exclude it from awareness of wise action? • What part does greed play in the choices you make in your livelihood? Does greed get in the way of awareness or compassion? • How can you be of more service in your community? • How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it? | ✽ Colors Grounding: Name all the colors you can see in your surroundings. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week17 - Wise Action (part 1): • Have you acted in a way that was unskillful or that created suffering? How? • During those times you were unskillful or created suffering, how would it have changed the outcome if you had acted out of compassion, kindness, generosity, and forgiveness? Would you now have a different emotional or mental response to your past actions if you had acted with these principles in mind? First Precept: • Have you caused harm? How? (Allow for a broad understanding of harm, including physical, emotional, mental, and karmic harm as well as financial, legal, moral, or other forms of harm.) • Even if you can’t point to specific harms that you have caused, have you acted in a way that purposely avoided being aware of the possibility of harm? | InnerChild.Week17 - Livelihood/Service | Reducing harm in our work Organizers: Fill this simple form to get free inquiry chip amulets in time for 12th week as a fun (and beautiful) way to commemorate your hard work: http://freechips.rd.rocks • Does your job cause harm? What is the specific nature of that harm? • How can you do your job more mindfully and with an intention of compassion and non-harm? • What part does greed play in the choices you make in your lifework? • How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it? (For example, how can you be of more service to your family, friends, Sangha?) | Awesome.Week17 - Wise Intention ● During your periods of addictive behavior, how did you act in ways that were clinging, uncaring, harsh, cruel, or unforgiving? Toward whom (including yourself) were these feelings directed? How might generosity, compassion, lovingkindness, and forgiveness have changed your behavior? ● Have you formed an intention to reconcile with both yourself and the person or people you’ve harmed (to make amends)? | (finished? or Sangha?) | ||
25 | Week 18 Self-Love Mantra: "I am here. I love myself." | Original.Week18 - Wise Effort: • What efforts have you made to connect with a wise friend, mentor, or dharma buddy who can help you develop and balance your efforts? • Think of a situation that is causing you discomfort or unease. What is the nature of the effort you’re bringing to the situation? Pay attention to whether it feels balanced and sustainable, or if you’re leaning too far in the direction of either inactivity or overexertion? • Are you dealing with overwhelming desires, aversions, laziness or discouragement, restlessness and worry, or doubt about your own ability to recover? How do these hindrances affect the choices you’re making? • Are you avoiding feelings by checking out and giving up, or through obsessive busyness and perfectionism? | ✽ Self-Love Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "I am here. I love myself." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week18 - Wise Action (part 2): Second Precept: • People “take” in many ways–we take goods or material possessions, we take time and energy, we take care and recognition. With this broad understanding of taking, have you taken what has not been freely given? How? What are specific examples or patterns where this has been true for you? Third Precept: • Have you behaved irresponsibly, selfishly, or without full consent and awareness (from yourself or partners) in your sexual conduct? How? • Reviewing your sexual partners or activities, have you been fully aware in each instance of other existing relationships, prior or current mental or emotional conditions of yourself and your partner(s), and your own intentions in becoming sexually involved? How or how not? • Has your sexual activity, both by yourself and with others, been based on non-harmful intentions? Have you entered into each sexual activity with awareness and understanding? How or how not? | InnerChild.Week18 - Effort | Balanced Energy & Pacing to Recovery and Awakening Consider this: It's easy to let ourselves get overly focused on just one part of our lives (e.g., work, recovery), and we may forget about putting energy in other areas (e.g., play, selfcare). Wise effort is less about the quantity of hours we put in, it's more about ensuring we balanced attention to all areas of our lives and staying centered. • Are you dealing with any overwhelming desires, aversions, restlessness, laziness, or doubts in your life? How do those hindrances affect the choices you're making? • Are there any areas of your life where you are avoiding feelings by checking out and giving up, or by overworking and overexerting? • What efforts have you made to connect with wise friendships, mentors, or dharma buddies who can help you develop and balance your efforts in all areas of your life? • Think of a situation that is causing you discomfort or unease right now. What kind of effort are you applying to this situation? Pay attention to whether it feels balanced, or if you're leaning too far in the direction of either inactivity or overexertion. Is there anything you would like to do differently? | Awesome.Week18 - Wise Livelihood ● Does your job cause harm? What is the specific nature of that harm? ● How can you do your job more mindfully and with an intention of compassion and non-harm? ● What part does greed play in the choices you make in your livelihood? Does greed get in the way of awareness or compassion? ● How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it? | (finished? or Sangha?) | • Recovery is not a straight line. • Put Karma Garden somewhere. • Make a harm reduction plan of sorts? | |
26 | Week 19 Water: If safe, run your hands under cold water. Now imagine you were just born 5 seconds ago. Savor the experience. | Original.Week19 - Wise Mindfulness: • What are steps you can take to support a regular meditation practice? • What are steps you can take to practice mindfulness more throughout the day by checking in with yourself about how you’re feeling, and pausing before reacting to situations? • What are steps you can take to sit with your discomfort instead of running from it or running toward temporary pleasure? • What are steps you can take to question the “truths” that your mind tells you, rather than automatically believing them? Identify specific instances where your mind and perceptions “lied” to you about the truth of a situation, and how being aware of that might have changed your reaction and led to a less harmful outcome. • Think about times when you felt fear, doubt, or hesitation. Now, let yourself become aware of their temporary nature. How might that awareness have led to an outcome that was less harmful? | ✽ Water Grounding: If you feel at ease and it's safe, try running your hands under cold water, and pay attention to the cool sensation of the water on your skin. Feel the pure sensations of water by imagining you were born just moments ago, no memories or stories. Savor the experience. ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week19 - Wise Action (part 3): Fourth Precept: • Have you been dishonest? How? • What patterns did your dishonesty take? Did you act or speak dishonestly to deny or misrepresent the truth about your own behavior or status? • Were there particular situations in which your dishonesty was particularly present (for instance: when dealing with your addictive behaviors, in job or professional settings, among friends, with family)? Investigate the source of the dishonesty in each setting–was it based on greed, confusion, fear, denial? Why were you lying? Fifth Precept: • Have you used intoxicants or other behaviors that cloud your ability to see clearly? • What substances and behaviors have you become reliant on to change or cloud your awareness? Has this changed over time, or, if you have periods of abstinence, were your habitual intoxicants or behaviors replaced by other ways to avoid awareness of your present circumstances and conditions? How? | InnerChild.Week19 - Mindfulness: Being Present, Non-Reactive, Non-judging Consider this: For meditation, it's been said that 5 minutes a day is better than one 35-minute sit each week. And like the practice of gratitude, starting small yields big results. • What are steps you can take to be more mindful throughout the day? (E.g.: Checking in with yourself about how you're feeling, taking a few deep breaths to disengage, or mindfully focusing on daily chores.) • What are steps you can take to sit with discomfort when it arises? (Hint: "This is a moment of discomfort.") • What are steps you can take to question the "truths" that your mind tells you, rather than automatically believing the stories? How can being aware of your own misperceptions change your reactions to situations? | Awesome.Week19 - 4th Noble Truth: A Path to its Ending ● Understanding that recovery and the ending of suffering is possible, what is your path to recovery and ending the suffering of addiction? Be honest about the challenges you might face, and the tools and resources you will use to meet those challenges. ● What behavior(s) can you change to more fully support your recovery? ● What does it mean to you to take refuge? | (finished? or Sangha?) | ||
27 | Week 20 Metta Mantra: "May all beings be free of suffering." | Original.Week20 - Wise Concentration: • How do you get unfocused or distracted in meditation? What distracts you the most? • What are steps you can take to refocus your mind without judging your own practice? • Notice what value or learning you could gain by carefully and kindly noticing where your mind has gone, or what has distracted you. • What are steps you can take to use concentration to see clearly and act wisely? • What are steps you can take to be kind and gentle with yourself through this process? | ✽ Metta Mantra Grounding: Breathe deeply, slowly. Mantra: "May all beings be free of suffering." ____________________________ ✽ Admirable After-Care: List 1-3 admirable action(s) you took this week (whether in self-care or in service to others.) | Reordered.Week20 - Wise Livelihood: • Does your job cause harm? What is the specific nature of that harm? • How can you do your job more mindfully and with an intention of compassion and non-harm? • Do you bring an understanding of karma and kindness to your job, or do you compartmentalize it and exclude it from awareness of wise action? • What part does greed play in the choices you make in your livelihood? Does greed get in the way of awareness or compassion? • How can you be of more service in your community? • How might you bring a spirit of generosity to your life, both in your profession and outside it? | InnerChild.Week20 - Concentration | Focus, Notice, Refocus • What are some simple steps you can take to support a daily meditation practice? • When distracted, what are steps you can take to refocus during meditation (without judging yourself)? • What are ways you can take care of yourself during meditation? • How can you use concentration to understand more clearly and act more wisely? | Awesome.Week20 - Reaching Out ● Do you struggle with asking for help? Why or why not? ● Do you have resources in place for a relapse? ● What gave you the courage to seek recovery? Awesome.Week21 - Generosity & Service ● Proudly share the ways you’ve been generous to others in recent memory. ● Has the expectation of thanks or recognition gotten in the way of being truly generous? ● How has someone’s generosity toward you benefited your recovery? | (finished? or Sangha?) | ||
28 | Celebrate | Celebrate together! | Celebrate | Celebrate together! | Celebrate | Awesome.Week22 - Mentorship ● Is there anything that could help you feel more ready to become a mentor to new members of our sangha? ● Do you have any concerns or fears about becoming a mentor? ● Have you been mentored? Explain. | Celebrate | ||
29 | New Intention | Set a New Intention going forward! | New Intention | Set a New Intention going forward! | New Intention | Celebrate | New Intention | ||
30 | 📗 (og.rd.rocks) | 🧘♀️ (grounding.rd.rocks) | ♻️ reordered.rd.rocks | 👩👦 innerchild.rd.rocks | 🏄♀️ awesome.rd.rocks | 🌈 Rainbow RD's "Inquiry-Lite" |